I was sleeping in my baby-room, though I had graduated from crib to toddler bed. The wall was pale yellow and so was my beloved toy tea cup set that was on the floor when I awoke. Not just yellow but vanilla pudding yellow, the kind you cook at home with the thick layer of skin on top.
One of the teacups was overturned and I picked it up. Then, from the dark shadow of the inside of the cup were slightly transparent, floating, multi-colored figures. They were kaleidoscope-like in nature and very detailed. They slowly flew up out of the cup and sort of swam through the air of the room. Perhaps, these two manifestations of my mind mated with each other because the next thing I knew, my house seemed to be infested with them.
At breakfast that morning, I sat in my favorite spot next to the radiator. I spotted little colored images moving around within it, and they seemed to remain inside it as if it were their home. One image came up close to my eyes, and there was a ferris wheel in it. It wasn’t animated, but like a frozen picture of a ferris wheel. It was so detailed, and I remember that each car of the ferris wheel was a different color. I soon learned that these visuals were more visible in the dark or when they were in front of a dark background.
I didn’t find this scary at first, just fascinating. These little images would soon become some of my favorite friends as they were a reliable and endless source of entertainment. I tried telling my mother about them but she just attributed it to my imagination, and maybe to some extent that’s all it was.
I gave my floating friends the name Frickles, which I stole from the name of a yellow dinosaur character on Gumby, who was actually called Prickle. I spent most of my first Frickle-day observing the little objects. After that day they never really went away. I can still see them today but I just tune them out. Like a trip, I’ve become aware of all the things within the frame of its realm, so it gets a bit old after 26 years.
I tend to not tell people about the Frickles because when I do, people generally look at me as if my mouth were an ear. My friend Elaine, who runs Reiki Therapy by Elaine in New York City, said I should pay attention to them again.
Elaine has asked me to come in for Reiki attunement. She told me that it was a healing style of energy work that was psychic in nature. Though I have always been open minded and believed in a sixth sense, I’m still a pretty rational person. Elaine also works as an actress, she played Kendall’s evil twin on the long-time running soap opera, All My Children. I first met her while doing a story on a band that she played keyboard for. ‘Leave it to an actress to get into Reiki,’ I thought. Actresses love that kind of stuff. Those who possess a creative mind seem to be drawn to these sort of holistic beliefs and methods. Perhaps some are drawn to it because they possess a sixth sense or are sensitive to other’s vibes. Elaine seems to be one of those people.
For our first session, I sat upon a bed in a room that resembles a more comfortable doctor’s checkup room. Elaine was talking to me from across the room while sitting on a chair. I started feeling as though I was coming up on ecstasy or something; I felt anxious and my heart began racing. ‘How are you feeling?’ she asked me. I said I was feeling anxious, and she said that feeling was normal and that she had already started.
She had me lie down, then she waved her hands over me and minimally touched me on my joints. Also, she placed a stone on my stomach. But that was the extent of her physical contact with me. Despite that, I felt practically paralyzed. The only sensation I can compare the feeling to is to taking hallucinogens while having Lyme Disease. I felt something like electricity running through my veins or perhaps a huge magnet over me; it went beyond the typical joint pain that one might experience after ingesting acid or mushrooms. It’s a difficult feeling to explain, but I definitely felt that I could not move. At the same time I was hallucinating—seeing some sort of tunnel in front of me.
She was trying to rid me of some dark energy that she claimed had attached itself to me. She asked me to say, ‘Archangel Michael.’ So I did. ‘What do you feel?’ I said that I was starting to feel cold; I was actually shivering. ‘Is this like an exorcism of sorts?’ I asked her and then remember laughing. I see exorcists all of the time at my day job at a Catholic Television Channel. Exorcists are still considered to be a legitimate profession in the Archdiocese. She told me that the reason I stay working for the Catholic Church is that I need protection from darkness, because I am naturally light and that dark forces stick to that.
Once it was over it was hard to get up and I had the worst headache. She warned me that I might experience some bizarre occurrences afterward. I was shocked! This hadn’t been at all what I expected. I had assumed that she might tell me some stuff that was mildly relevant to my life, and that I might feel as I do after leaving the gym or yoga.
The next day, I woke up covered in sweat and had more ear wax in my ears than I have ever had before; it was like my body was flushing something out.
A Few Days Later:
It was the night before the pope was elected. I had to be up by 4:00 a.m. at the latest to go to my job to do some live coverage of the event. I had a nightmare about a very gloomy place: I saw a priest who I often see at my job in real life, only in my dream the priest was talking to me as if I were an actual person in contrast to reality, where he treated me like an animal; he said he had to show me something. Then I woke up abruptly. It was around 2:00 a.m. and I was feeling jittery and extremely dehydrated so I went in to my kitchen to get a glass of water. As I approached the kitchen I smelled something burning and heard that the gas was on. A teapot was clumsily bouncing on top of the front stove burner while smoke billowed out of it. I picked up the handle, which had practically melted off, and as I did the handle broke off from the pot and the pot crashed to the floor. Hours earlier, my roommate had boiled water for tea.
A few days later I had a dream about a bridge collapsing: I was back in Vermont where I grew up and I could see from my house a majestic snow-covered bridge collapsing; it was beautiful and horrifying. It’s not unusual for me to have dreams like that but usually it’s roller coasters and highway overpasses falling apart, not bridges. That same day my roommate was watching videos of bridges collapsing.
It may be all coincidence, or I may be getting tuned into some other sense; it makes about as much sense as anything else in this world. The fact that Reiki made me feel like I was on drugs also made me wonder: ‘Was the Reiki altering my mind because it somehow mimics the effects of drugs? Or, do drugs and Reiki both allow you to tap into another state or physical dimension?’ Aryn told me that one reason so many former drug addicts become spiritual is that they realize that they can achieve those feelings of otherness through a method that’s healthier that using drugs. I know a number of former drug addicts, and have read of others, who have turned to spirituality, and even cults, as a form of rehabilitation.
Now, I feel like I’m more aware of it [the other dimension]. And just like the ‘Frickles’ it’s always around, but I just ignore it. If we don’t acknowledge something, we are unable to see it.